My Princess....

I just took a quiz on Facebook. "Which Disney Prince are you?" it read. So of course, being the eternal romantic that I am jumped on it. My result? Prince Phillip. The dashing tall dark and handsome knight from Sleeping Beauty. Amused by this (and by the surprisingly erotic Prince Phillip photo that accompanied it), I started looking around at profiles. I have a lot of friends who are happily married and sometimes I feel like I am getting left behind. I yearn, no ACHE, for my very own princess to have and to hold and to be by my side as an eternal companion. Yet as much as I want that, I don't want to be married JUST for the sake of BEING married either. I want to be completely, absolutely, head over heels in love with my wife. So much that I would throw myself in front of a train rather than hurt her, betray her, or lie to her. As painful as it is to admit it, I'm pretty sure that in order to have that kind of a relationship, it's going to take a LOT of work in order to prepare myself for the requirements of such a marriage. It is amazing to me how many people don't realize that a marriage works both ways. Just as much as I long for a beautiful princess for myself, somewhere out there my future companion is equally longing for a handsome prince that will be there for her, support her, love her, confide in her, and share every single aspect of his life with her. TOTAL EQUALITY. The one thing that keeps me going is the future I can see for myself in such a marriage. This is my quest. Someday, somewhere I'm going to be the husband that my wife only thought she could dream about. *sigh* Someday....

Letting the Light In...

So I continue learning how to look how to let more light into my life. As I reflect on all that's happened this last year, I cannot believe how much of a turnaround I've made. I almost wish I could look through the glass of time and confront my former self and vanquish him. I once wrote a description of what my doppelganger would be like for an English class in high school. Here are some of the qualities that my "doppelganger" had:

self-centered, evil, impulsive, weak, atheist, a slave to addictions, AND most significant, ALONE.

I shudder to think of the lifestyle I could be living right now if it weren't for everyone who loves me, including the most important of these: My Savior Jesus Christ.

EVERYTHING IS ETERNAL, AND NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE IN CHRIST.

Sunday musings...

I am a very lucky guy with a good life and wonderful blessings. Unfortunately, I have this uncontrollable knack for always seeing the negative side of things and thinking about all that I cannot do rather than what is actually possible and exciting for me in my life ahead. I finally had the courage to ask myself, "Why?" And I was surprised to find that I could not give myself a good answer. At all. So the main purpose of this entry is to declare to myself (and to the world) that I refuse to remain a slave to my own inhibitions and fears. I am finally in control. If there's something that I want to do, I'm going to do it. No more will I hide behind the mask of insecurity. Now that said, little by little I will be trying my hardest to purge all of the unnecessary negativity out of my life. I do realize that there must be both yin and yang, so obviously I can't be happy one hundred percent of the time, but I am determined to noticeably change my attitude about a lot of things. Why the sudden change of heart? My voice teacher, the incredible Cindy Dewey, made a comment in my last lesson that really struck a chord with me. She noticed a lot of "heaviness" in my posture and my tone and I don't remember exactly what she said but it had to do with truly enjoying what I do, not trying to please my teacher just because she asks for something. "You're so afraid to make a mistake! Just let it happen!" Good advice indeed. Little did she know that her comments would bring about a spiritual change in me in addition to a change in my musicianship. More to come...

These are my friends....see how they glisten...

Well Sweeney Todd auditions are finally over. My brother Wyn is playing Judge Turpin and my new friend Anthony is playing Sweeney. That leaves me with the all important role of the chorus. Oddly enough, I think that this is the first time that I've been okay with that. I'm excited for my little brother to have some real experience on stage and I think that he definitely deserves the part. And this also relieves me of having to learn a big role...for now. Logan really is turning out to be a wonderful place. We are starting to grow in very big ways. My only downer right now is my generals classes, all of which I find extremely tedious and stupid. I would much rather learn about the anatomy of the voice than try to identify rocks in a tray in a lab with an assistant that basically told us there was no good way to identify anything for sure but we could make good guesses. Sigh. I suppose someone has to be interested in rocks and minerals. So that's it for now. Sweeney Todd starts October 24th and runs until October 31st in the Morgan Theatre on USU Campus. I highly recommend it! More to come...