Hello readers.
Today I wanted to record my feelings about a subject that is very personal to me. For purposes of this discussion, I'll call this post "How to Deal With Conflicting Feelings When a Loved One Chooses a Path Different From Your Own".
The reason why this subject is so personal to me is because I have been on both sides of this issue. During the time in my life when I was pretty much miserable 24/7 because I was not happy with my own choices, my parents, siblings, and other important people in my life had to deal directly with this. Now I find myself on the opposite side of the fence. I will not be naming any names or citing any specific examples because it is not any of my business to do so and I do not condone the concept of gossiping in any way, shape, or form. However, there are some general issues I wish to discuss in order of importance:
1. The principle of loving the person for who they are at their basic core. Unfortunately many "devout" members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints completely overlook this fact. Instead of reaching out with love and maintaining the same healthy relationship with the person in question, they instead react with disgust and isolation. This does two things: One, it teaches the person that they are no longer worth any time, consideration, or basic respect. And two, it creates a terrible image of Christianity that will make it difficult for that person to keep their faith at all. Perhaps this is why so many who have been treated this way turn to alcohol, sexual encounters, and other forms of self-abuse to try and "cover up" these hurt feelings.
2. The principle of knowing yourself well enough that you know what YOUR particular boundaries are. This is one of the most simple truths we can look at. If we don't approve of some particular action, there is nothing that says that WE have to participate in those actions simply because we don't condemn the people who are choosing to live their life a certain way. To each his own. Even in our closest relationships, it is impossible to truly know every single experience, hardship, miracle, or opinion that we each have individually. So don't put on the judge's robe; you do NOT have all the facts and you never will.
3. Take responsibility for your own actions. We are all human. We all screw up at some point or another. What defines what kind of a person we are is what we do when we make mistakes. If you have wronged or offended someone, remember that that person is a precious son or daughter of God, no matter what their appearance or lifestyle may be. This fact alone means that they deserve to be treated as a human being with feelings. That being said, however, you don't have to be a doormat either. If there is a person in your life that is hurting you, be honest with them and let them know what they are doing to you. Maybe they aren't even aware of what they are doing.
In short, constant readers, I beg and plead with you to think about what you do and say to those who may be struggling with their own testimony of a loving Heavenly Father and a Savior who died for all of us. All we can do is love them, let's leave the final judgement up to our everloving Father in Heaven. More to come...
