Learning How to Carry On...

 Hello readers

Tonight is a Sunday night.  Something that I often like to do to close out my weekend and get ready for Monday is to play through some hymns.  I find that I usually need the recharge of my batteries that this provides.  Tonight was no exception.  As I played through the music of "Carry On", my mind wandered to my Grandpa Rose, who passed away almost two years ago come October.  One of my favorite things about him was that he liked to listen to me play the piano.  Tonight as I played, I felt his presence.  I also felt some of my other ancestors, almost as if they were gathered around me at the piano as I played.  After I had stopped and basked in that sweet feeling of my Grandpa's love, I started to think about the words of the hymn.  

Later, I looked up the words to the second verse in particular:

"We'll build on the rock they planted; a palace to the King.

Into its shining corridors, our songs of praise we'll bring.

For the heritage they left us, not of gold or worldly wealth,

But a blessing everlasting, of joy, and love, and health. 

And we hear the desert singing 'Carry on, carry on, carry on!'

Hills and vales and mountains ringing. 'Carry on, carry on, carry on!'

Holding aloft our colors, we march in the glorious dawn.

O youth of the noble birthright, carry on, carry on, carry on!

So here are my few thoughts on this text.  We are in a difficult time right now.  Lots of uncertainties and lots of uneasiness.  However, those that came before us lived through difficulties too.  Certainly some that must have cause immense pain and sadness beyond what we can comprehend.  Tonight I felt some of those voices that came before me, cheering me on, telling me "You can do this!"  "Hold up your colors and be who you are!"  "Be a light to others!"  "Look to the dawn of a better day!"  

This week, I will continue to try and count my blessings of joy and love and health.  I hope that we all can be a little more patient and kind to one another.  In times like these, we need to carry on.  More to come...

Thoughts in the Time of Rona

 Dear readers,

Since my last entry in January, which was optimistic and carefree, we are now in the midst of a world-wide pandemic that has changed all of our lives.  For my entry today I wanted to reflect on a quote from one of my favorite movies The Sound of Music:  "When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window."

Since Coronavirus has taken the world over and health and safety protocols restrict anything and everything we do in some way, I have lost the following:

- the ability to teach voice lessons in person

- being able to sing each week with my brothers and sisters in the Tabernacle Choir

- a lot of my drive to practice my singing and keyboard skills

- for a little while, even my sense of knowing who I am and what I am working for (without live music performance in my life, this got lost)

- my confidence in knowing that I know how to teach secondary level vocal music

Now you may be thinking, wow is he going crazy?  Has he lost the will to keep on going?  Will he be able to sustain this way of life we are all now subjected to?  Not to worry, I am not out of the woods yet, but I have been able to learn a few things along the way while it seemed like our whole lives were being changed permanently.  My sweet mother has always encouraged me to count my blessings, especially when you feel you are at your darkest moments.  So now I will attempt to list the things that I have gained from the experience of dealing with Coronavirus life:

- the ability and time to slow down, be still, and know that He is God

- the opportunity to develop some new talents and interests, primarily in visual arts

- the luxury of enjoying a beautiful comfortable home of my own that I can live in

- silence and solitude in abundance (two luxuries I prize highly in my busy life)

- new knowledge about and opportunity to ponder on simple gospel truths contained in the Book of Mormon

- the simple joy of being able to go ride a few good rollercoasters whenever I wanted (less possible now that school is starting yet again, but still not out of reach)

- the challenge of developing new facets and methods to my teaching toolbox, and sharpening my skills I worked so hard and paid so much to acquire

- more time to go share snuggles with my two beautiful nieces

- more time to nurture and cultivate my relationships with my family (I once received a fortune cookie that said "Your family is one of nature's masterpieces.", and I definitely agree)

- finally, much more opportunity to take hard looks in the mirror and make changes as I need to in order to become my best self for myself and also any potential partners in the future

I am so grateful for the knowledge that I possess about life and why we are here.  Businesses may shut down, laws may change, disease may run rampant, but love never ends.  Stay strong my friends.  We can get through this.  More to come...

A Favorite Subject...

So this blog was created initially to record my thoughts and inspirations. Basically a diary into my life that I would be comfortable sharing with others who stumble upon it. Me being the disorganized person that I am, I don't usually write an entry in it unless something absolutely amazing and spiritual happens to me. Tonight was the 3rd show of Sweeney Todd here on the USU Campus. My friends Alan and Elise drove all the way down from Rexburg today just to see me in the show and then drove all the way back. As I was contemplating on that single action, (at two o clock in the morning), I had a wonderful manifestation of the Holy Spirit of the Lord that was something like this: "They drove here to see you because they love you." It literally made me cry. I am so incredibly blessed to have friends who care that much that they would be willing to drive 2 1/2 hours to come see me for less than about 30 minutes total. The tender mercies of the Lord do exist and my whole entire life is a testimony to that. I don't know what I would do without the special people in my life like Alan, Elise, my family, and my other friends and extended family. They're what keep me going. Truly, "what greater gift [can God] bestow, what greater goodness can we know, than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways, strengthen our faith, enrich our days." For those of you who this message is about, thank you. More to come...

Reflections of Florida....

So the other night, one of mine and Wyn's friends, Justin, came over to our apartment to hang out and shoot the breeze a little bit. Somehow, we got to the topic of missions. Justin hasn't served a mission yet and wanted to pick the brains of two RM's. He asked a lot of questions that most premies ask "What was your craziest experience, what's the grossest thing you ever ate" and so on and so forth. But then he asked one that was a real tuffy: "What was the best part of being out on a mission that you don't get to enjoy at any other point in your life?" Wow. I literally took about 2 minutes to think of a good response. He being the awesome guy that he is, waited for my good response. Finally it came to me. "The best part about serving a mission," I said, "is the fact that you get to completely turn your life over to the Lord and allow him to literally speak and act through you in every single thing you do." After he left, I thought about it some more with each day that passed by. I have finally come to the conclusion that there is no reason why I shouldn't enjoy that type of relationship with Heavenly Father in my everyday life. I think that one common mistake that a lot of returned missionaries make (including myself) is that we automatically assume that post-mission life is never going to be as spiritual as mission life. Why shouldn't we enjoy that same companionship with the Savior? Why shouldn't we allow Him to act through us? Food for thought for sure...

Sunday musings...

I am a very lucky guy with a good life and wonderful blessings. Unfortunately, I have this uncontrollable knack for always seeing the negative side of things and thinking about all that I cannot do rather than what is actually possible and exciting for me in my life ahead. I finally had the courage to ask myself, "Why?" And I was surprised to find that I could not give myself a good answer. At all. So the main purpose of this entry is to declare to myself (and to the world) that I refuse to remain a slave to my own inhibitions and fears. I am finally in control. If there's something that I want to do, I'm going to do it. No more will I hide behind the mask of insecurity. Now that said, little by little I will be trying my hardest to purge all of the unnecessary negativity out of my life. I do realize that there must be both yin and yang, so obviously I can't be happy one hundred percent of the time, but I am determined to noticeably change my attitude about a lot of things. Why the sudden change of heart? My voice teacher, the incredible Cindy Dewey, made a comment in my last lesson that really struck a chord with me. She noticed a lot of "heaviness" in my posture and my tone and I don't remember exactly what she said but it had to do with truly enjoying what I do, not trying to please my teacher just because she asks for something. "You're so afraid to make a mistake! Just let it happen!" Good advice indeed. Little did she know that her comments would bring about a spiritual change in me in addition to a change in my musicianship. More to come...