Sunday musings...

I am a very lucky guy with a good life and wonderful blessings. Unfortunately, I have this uncontrollable knack for always seeing the negative side of things and thinking about all that I cannot do rather than what is actually possible and exciting for me in my life ahead. I finally had the courage to ask myself, "Why?" And I was surprised to find that I could not give myself a good answer. At all. So the main purpose of this entry is to declare to myself (and to the world) that I refuse to remain a slave to my own inhibitions and fears. I am finally in control. If there's something that I want to do, I'm going to do it. No more will I hide behind the mask of insecurity. Now that said, little by little I will be trying my hardest to purge all of the unnecessary negativity out of my life. I do realize that there must be both yin and yang, so obviously I can't be happy one hundred percent of the time, but I am determined to noticeably change my attitude about a lot of things. Why the sudden change of heart? My voice teacher, the incredible Cindy Dewey, made a comment in my last lesson that really struck a chord with me. She noticed a lot of "heaviness" in my posture and my tone and I don't remember exactly what she said but it had to do with truly enjoying what I do, not trying to please my teacher just because she asks for something. "You're so afraid to make a mistake! Just let it happen!" Good advice indeed. Little did she know that her comments would bring about a spiritual change in me in addition to a change in my musicianship. More to come...