HELLO LOGAN!!!!!

I have just experienced another major jolting change in my life:

After 3 years at BYU-Idaho and being used to always having my parents in the Salt Lake Valley, I have uprooted everything I ever knew and was comfortable with to start a new chapter in my life. The parents are all settled in Parker (for now), 20 minutes outside of Rexburg and I am living it up now in Logan at Utah State University with my brother and LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT. It's incredible how quickly I've gotten adjusted and I couldn't feel better about the way my life is headed right now. The professors here are AMAZING and the program is so exciting. Collegiate Singers will always have a special place in my heart but Chamber Singers is going to be just as great. Dr. Evans announced to all of us today in class that we are going to New York and New Haven, CT for a weekend in November on a mini-tour towards the end of this semester. As for the opera theatre, we are doing the incredible show Sweeney Todd and also preparing to do Gianni Schicchi and possibly another one act in the Spring. Auditions for that are this weekend, so we'll see how that goes. It's funny, now that I'm here in Logan, it really feels like home (even though I'm still trying to learn campus, after Rexburg this place is HUGE!). The only thing I need now to make my experience complete is a good job that will work with my crazy schedule! Ha. Anyways, life is grand. New places, new experiences. That's what life should be all about. I think the best part is that I'm slowly learning how to come out of my shell a little bit more. More to come...

It's Starting!!!

I picked up the full vocal score for "Sweeney Todd" today. ($100 later) It's basically my way of saying "It's time to start getting ready for school again." I'm so excited, I started reading through it as soon as I got home. I've had the urge to learn some new music since Friday when I saw all of my fabulous friends from BYU-Idaho perform in Gianni Schicchi and Dido & Aeneas. It was a great weekend. I had forgotten how much I love my Rexburg friends. I was overwhelmed by how many of them said how much they missed me and how much they valued our friendship. True friends really are a blessing and the fact that I have so many of them is amazing. My sister and I actually ended up staying longer than we intended because we didn't want the weekend to end! While that part of my life is over, I'm starting to get really really excited for the new experience at USU to begin. I really feel that I'm going to grow as a performer and as a musician in big ways. So for now, it looks like it's going to be a blast and I couldn't be happier with the way things are turning out. :D

Summer Rain and Family Ties...

Well I've decided it is time for another post. And never fear, this one is actually going to be very upbeat compared to my last few. It's really been a great summer so far here in West Jordan, though the weather has been rainy, it really has helped quite a bit to symbolize a renewal in my life. Being in the house with my whole family for the first time in years has really made a difference in all of our relationships. I have great friends who love me, and have been blessed with some really wonderful talents that I can't wait to use again when I get back to school this Fall. And I have also joined up with the Sterling Singers, a fantastic community choir here in the Salt Lake Valley conducted by the fabulous Kelly DeHaan. What a privilege! I've also been working on a novelization of the opera "The Magic Flute". Those of you who know me well will remember it's one of my favorite stories and I think it's one that should be told more often. The book is really coming along and I'd forgotten how much I enjoy writing. Life couldn't be sweeter and I'm really pleased with how everything is turning out so far. More to come...

MYSELF

So my awesome mother, who is a member of the Tabernacle Choir, gave this poem to all of us recently that they had as part of their weekly broadcast of Music and the Spoken Word and I think its message is something that all people should consider. I'll share it here:

"Myself"
I have to live with myself and so,
I want to be fit for myself to know;
I want to be able as days go by

Always to look myself straight in the
eye;
I don't want to stand with the setting
sun
And hate myself for the things I've
done.

I don't want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself as I come and go
Into thinking that nobody else will
know
The kind of man I really am;
I don't want to dress myself up in sham.

I want to go out with my head erect,
I want to deserve all men's respect;
But here in the struggle for fame and
pelf,
I want to be able to like myself.
I don't want to think as I come and go
That I'm bluster and bluff and empty
show.

I never can hide myself from me,
I see what others may never see,
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself-and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.

"

There's a lot to be said for just being your true self and not hiding behind masks. We all do it, and it would help society out a lot if we stopped. The people we really are are far more beautiful than the masks we wear.

More perspective....

As I've been home, I have been forced to look at every aspect of my life, every little detail no longer hidden, but put on full display for everyone in my family and myself to see. Some aspects I have liked more than others, but I think I'm finally beginning to understand what it is that makes me truly me. Everything is eternal. I catch myself every now and then thinking "if only I was back at school, I'd be okay again" but the truth is, until I learn how to live like a normal human being without addictions I won't be okay. I just hope I can remember that the next time I have the urge to do something stupid just for the temporary gratification. Thank goodness for a Heavenly Father that loves us enough to make us take responsibility for our mistakes. As hard as it makes my life right now, I cannot deny the existence of a God who knows who we all are and who loves us beyond our understanding. I almost wish I could sometimes, it would be so much easier to just give in. But I cannot turn my back on what I know to be true....

Collegiate Singers Slideshow

So I just watched a very sentimental slideshow of all my Collegiate Singers family and thought I would embed it here, since all of the fantastic people in it are already embedded in my heart. I miss all you guys so so so much!!!!

The First Post!!!!

So I have decided to create a blog after seeing a whole bunch of my other friends doing it. Maybe through this I can help out someone looking for something to make them feel better, or maybe by writing things down in my life that are happening I can reflect on what I've been doing and hopefully make some changes to make myself constantly better. Who knows? It'll be an interesting ride, whatever happens. Also, I figured it would be good to update this frequently as things happen in my life to keep all my friends and family updated. So here we go.....

Right now, I'm trying to adjust my life and figure out what direction I want to go in. I'm currently at home in West Jordan living with my parents and taking a much needed break from school. Unfortunately, I had to leave the semester early from BYU-Idaho because of some personal problems and some things that had to be figured out before I could continue with my life. The hardest things about leaving school are first of all, having to leave all my friends behind in Rexburg. I had to deal with the fact that I probably wouldn't see many of them any time soon. The second blow was the fact that I have put much of my musical education on hold. I have not REALLY sung or even warmed up my voice to its full potential for nearly a week and a half now and it's starting to really take its toll. Music is who I am, with every fiber of my being. My brain is constantly playing it, I'm constantly inventing new melodies involuntarily, and I relate to everything in life through it. Not to be able to use my talents is driving me crazy. So to be quite perfectly honest, my life isn't very happy right now, but I'm starting to move forward. Slowly, but surely, everything will work out for the best. Of this, I'm positive. At least I know where I am going. More to come...